What Faking An Orgasm Tells Us About Sex

This piece argues that examining orgasm—especially the common but understudied practice of “faking it”—reveals how deeply social and interactional sex really is. While orgasm depends on factors like familiarity, technique, connection, and body confidence, research shows that many women and a surprising number of men have faked orgasm in partnered sex, driven by pressures to protect a partner’s feelings, avoid awkwardness, or end an encounter that feels stalled. These reasons often reflect gendered expectations: women frequently fake to avoid hurting a partner or out of a learned obligation to affirm men’s desirability, while men fake due to performance pressures or fear of “taking too long.” Crucially, people fake orgasms only with partners—not when alone—illustrating how strongly social norms, impression-management, and “saving face” shape sexual behavior. Ultimately, the decision to stop faking often corresponds with increased confidence, communication, and relationship security, underscoring that orgasm is as much about comfort and interactional dynamics as it is about physiology.