The Importance Of Sexual Pleasure

This piece argues that while sexual pleasure is increasingly recognized as essential to health and well-being, it remains stigmatized and poorly understood, in part because we overlook how deeply social sex actually is. Drawing on interview research, the author shows that people describe sex less in terms of pure physical desire and more as a social encounter shaped by expectations, awkwardness, impression-management, and power—much like any other interaction in daily life. These pressures lead people to fake orgasms, avoid communicating discomfort, or agree to unwanted sex simply to maintain smooth social dynamics. Because partnered sex activates these social anxieties, it can obscure pleasure, whereas solitary experiences like porn often relieve these pressures. Acknowledging the interactional nature of sex, the author argues, is crucial for improving sex education, reducing stigma, and helping people navigate the social complexities that shape their ability to experience sexual pleasure, health, and happiness.